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finally home

Finally home with the pooch.. He had a hard few days. He ate a bunch of raisins and nearly died. I am working on a bunch of statistics and I'm tired I think I would rather be doing something else but it is what it is and I'm learning a lot there's no punctuation when I'm writing because I'm just talking to my phone while I'm making dinner anyways enough of this post I'm going to go it's nice to connect again with LiveJournal talk soon Xo trash ^_^

oh yeah! Live journal!


I seem to write on this every 4 to 5 years. I used to be so much more avid... Much has happened. I don't even know where to begin.

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cha eeze!

ok so i discovered the other day how to make cheese. so i have been on a fantastical cheese making bender! i have made 5 different kinds of cheese. i never knew. I am going to start making specialty cheeses. very special cheeses. perhaps you might come to one of  L'emme's wine and cheese extravaganza. aaaaaaaah next i will take over the world.

something eloquent

I walked into an old goodwill. robins egg blue poking out from the bottom of a pile of old speakers and toaster ovens. I pushed the devestated goods aside and found a treasure. a still in case mint condition smith-corona typewriter.  a partner for my old and lonley remmington rand. even in this day in age i find a certain tortured pleasure in just banging out your thoughts. I huffed my new machine back to by bedroom where we threw ourselves into a night of passion. we were like lost lovers, ( I gave up my collection of typwriters in a move years ago. I lament it still) my fingers banged away on her ivory keys  that night, we made some kinda love. pages of it.   spilled over dirty white paper stolen from the back of a church closet. and i realized when i woke up spent with my baby blue love, curled around her like a babe,  that all i needed was here.  My tool to work through my broken hearted heart. I don't know why this time it's taking so damn long. It's so stupid. maybe it just was two great loves too close together. I just couldn't stand the idea of losing another one. I have found a new attack as my other plan was not working.  I push for friendship to the point of madness. I run on the passion that can only be found in deep love. and now i have found it again. and i will use her love to heal myself and i will blow away any of the chains that have made me a slave to my heart. I will pound her in the night, an outlet for my anxious mind, i am more than this. all the other things in my life point to success. and i will not pass an open window due to a blind heart. it's time to stop whipping a dead horse. sometimes its just time to get off and walk.

Holy shit!

I just realized i havn't written on here in 3 years... three fucking years....god damn!

whoa....

Ok so It's been awhile I KNOW stop yelling at me, here is a quick synopsis of the last coupla years..ah ha hem...I broke up with a girlfriend, got really low, found a new girlfriend, fell totally in love, broke up with a girlfriend got really really low, faced forward, fell backwards, felt useless, found power, got creative, made some magic, got a promotion, took a nap, and smiled to myself as i watched  my life slowly settle in to place. 

my goodness

well it's been awhile but i've been busy...went to the nolose conference over the weekend...have to say it was the most amazing time...it was beautiful beautiful and we performed and we did really well and all i can say is that i couldn't have gone with cooler kids and i loved every minute of being with them. i love road trips in a big big way. anyways this is emmet..over and out...i'll try and write more..big love...
i got a new keyboard so i'm gonna go learn eye of the tiger on it...

emmet.

hookey

i called in sick today...i think i'm kinda bummed... I too am on a regime to change my self...my life. We performed at a clown caberet last night and it was the most fun i think i've had in a super long time. It was so outside of the scope of what i normally do. queer things with my queer friends in queer bars its like somebody built a biodome and i didn't even know i wasn't out side..because sometimes i lose perspective and forget there is so much more. like fun straight guys..what? i know i forgot too! i met one last night...performance artists that can make you cry! people that inspire you deepley...people that come along and show you how to work the window you never knew was there..i have take up aquabics...there is no one else in our class. one guy showed up to early.. 15 minutes...he never came back...distance swimming is before us..there are alot of old guys in speedo's and its so repulsive..but for some reason makes me a little hot....because i can't remember the last time a saw a speedo? who knows whatever the reason it makes me feel funny...like the first time you were allowed to change alone in the changeroom and you saw your first adult naked.... kind of funny and giggly. i'm going to go do some crafts....sorry this is so disjointed..maybe it makes no sense but i realized some thing yesterday that i think is really huge..because i say it and it doesn't sink in..but i was listening to an afro-brazilian percussion troupe yesterday and i started dancing and clapping and waving my crackers ( i was eating crackers) in the air and i stepped outside of me and i saw myself dancing like a five year old and i looked so silly and i felt sooo good and i didn't care so basically what i realised is i sorry if this is disjointed and makes no sense and you can't read it but you know what i don't care cause it's for me not for you. now...now its time for crafts....

trash.

so....

i am experienceing a sense of loss. i don't feel good about it. i think i've just realized my friend is no longer here. but is now a new person all together. I miss her and i don't know what to do. I wish things were less complicated. I wish i was somewhere else...somewhere that involved a lot of drinking and a pot roast.

yikes!

ok sooo who knew that aquabics was sooo fucking intense...we went for the first time today...i can't feel my arms. I'm feeling a little funny and i'm dead tired. But today has been a most eventful day. I've been doing piles of fun things and my plans are actually moving from my head to the world. I have entered phase one of my bodymod plan and it feels good. and i think i like exercise where you don't even know your sweating. it was like a water cooler discussion with intense movement...wierd...exciting. I find out tomorrow wether or not i get a new job...also exciting. i can't wait. I've been drawing every day and hope one day soon i will have an autoclave. its my one new ambition...after the job...anyways enough of this. I really like having somewhere to write shit down that i can't lose....

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trashyking
left by the curb waiting for pick-up
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