i called in sick today...i think i'm kinda bummed... I too am on a regime to change my self...my life. We performed at a clown caberet last night and it was the most fun i think i've had in a super long time. It was so outside of the scope of what i normally do. queer things with my queer friends in queer bars its like somebody built a biodome and i didn't even know i wasn't out side..because sometimes i lose perspective and forget there is so much more. like fun straight guys..what? i know i forgot too! i met one last night...performance artists that can make you cry! people that inspire you deepley...people that come along and show you how to work the window you never knew was there..i have take up aquabics...there is no one else in our class. one guy showed up to early.. 15 minutes...he never came back...distance swimming is before us..there are alot of old guys in speedo's and its so repulsive..but for some reason makes me a little hot....because i can't remember the last time a saw a speedo? who knows whatever the reason it makes me feel funny...like the first time you were allowed to change alone in the changeroom and you saw your first adult naked.... kind of funny and giggly. i'm going to go do some crafts....sorry this is so disjointed..maybe it makes no sense but i realized some thing yesterday that i think is really huge..because i say it and it doesn't sink in..but i was listening to an afro-brazilian percussion troupe yesterday and i started dancing and clapping and waving my crackers ( i was eating crackers) in the air and i stepped outside of me and i saw myself dancing like a five year old and i looked so silly and i felt sooo good and i didn't care so basically what i realised is i sorry if this is disjointed and makes no sense and you can't read it but you know what i don't care cause it's for me not for you. now...now its time for crafts....
- emmet feels...: dorky